Last night I re-watched, for the 5th time, the last season of New Girl.
Endlessly re-watching shows I love is what I do.
Every time, regardless of how many times I’ve seen it before, the last season, particularly the last episode, makes me sad, even though the ending is exactly how it’s supposed to be (not every series has a perfect ending, but New Girl nailed it, as opposed to Dawson’s Creek, for example – after all these years, I still go: “what was that?!”).
Endings make me miserable.
They take something away from me. I sit there, like a pinata of emotions, knowing I’ll burst out in tears at any given moment. I don’t like to talk about it. I just need to feel it out. To be sad. To get angry. To feel the loss mixed with joy and to taste every sip of the long island iced tea of stupid feelings that take over me.
Am I alone in this?! In a desperate attempt to validate my weirdness, I started thinking about all the other bat shit crazy – I mean adorable – things that make me, me. If you relate, understand or just find them randomly interesting, know this: I would have loved to sit with you in a school cafeteria and make fun about all the cool kids, back in the day. For the present moment, I’ll just say this: thanks for being here!
About me, the quirky edition:
- I live for the beginning of a beginning – the preparations, the planning, the packing, the intentions behind every step, the first stage of a meet cute in a movie, the first paragraph that introduces a character, the fine moments when you figure out what’s about to happen, the stolen glimpses into somebody’s life, the nerve-racking seconds before the curtain lifts.
- I love the eve of anything more than the celebration itself – an organic consequence of the paragraph above, duh! Christmas Eve, my birthday’s eve, the night before a big trip, a dress rehearsal.
- I’m a combination of Lorelai Gilmore, a dash of Rachel and Chandler, a shit load of Carrie and a fair amount of Jessica Day – if you know what I mean by that, we should definitely be friends.
- I sing in my car and dance in the shower.
- My natural sleep cycle is 12 hours per night – anything below 7 hours of sleep is dangerous, for my well being and that of others around me.
- Cutting 2 inches of my hair scares the crap out of me.
- I hold on too much to things, places, moments in time – I have this amazing memory that served me well during college, but works against me in real life. I still remember where my 6 grade crush used to live. My first phone number. The street corner where all the “bad boys” of my neighbourhood used to gather every night and what song was on when we played spin the bottle at the first boy/girl party I’ve ever been to. I kept every love letter or note that was handed to me. I pass by the old building I used to work in and tear up. It’s not healthy, but I can’t help it. I collect memories.
- I suck at taking selfies – as a millennial, you’d think that this is an innate feature, built in from the get go or at least, that I’d have this mastered by now, but no. A definitive and disastrous no. I’ve seen the tutorials. Rehearsed them in the mirror. Still not able to handle them. My head naturally tilts in the wrong direction. My legs turn to spaghetti, my arm squishes towards my body creating the hulk effect, and my chin gets a double every. Single. Time. Please say I’m not alone in this!!!
- I don’t own flats – I have super high heels or sneakers. Nothing in between.
- I took 3 separate beginner classes for Latin dances and I can’t perform anything except the basic salsa step (and it kills me).
- I cry at Queer Eye.
- I need to have yogurt in the house, at all times.
- I love yoga – I’m terrible at it, but looooove it!
- I hate the word influencer.
- I order too much food – it’s a blessing and a curse.
- All time favorite food: pizza – napoletana, if possible.
- I’m a firm believer that competition brings out the worst in people – huge sore point: I detest that girls are pitted against each other from kindergarten. It’s toxic and it’s gotta stop.
- Summer is the only season my heart, skin and spirit know.
- Favorite water sport: reading on the beach. And loooong hot baths. Burn-your-skin-off hot.
- I used to be a theater and art nerd in high-school (double jeopardy).